FORLORN

He's having a terrible day. A terrible week even. And I can't be there for him. I feel so helpless, so useless. 

I want to hold him and kiss him and tell him everything will be okay. 

Now I'm certain the devil is at work. But once again he will be defeated.

I just want to run back to him. Screw everything else. No job is worth this pain. 

Baby please be okay, at least until tomorrow when I can look in to your eyes and kiss your sorrows away.

I miss you baby. I can't wait for this hell to be over!

Being away from you sucks in epic proportions. 

This can't be life.

I feel the tears welling, fuelled by this overwhelming despondency.

Only God can help me now.

Lost...

Why do I feel so lost? Is it because everything all of a sudden seems to be falling apart. My planned trip, the magazine, the fact that you are miles away. Why do I feel so lost? I need you, is that too much to ask for. Why can’t the world just get it and fall in line. Why does it have to be so hard to see you, to hold you, to kiss you, to just be around you. Why?

For the first time, I feel like chatting and talking to you is not enough. I want you M. For the first time, I feel so angry to be here, nothing seems to cheer me up. I need a dose or maybe a permanent  dose of you. I feel lost. I just want to be in your silence, to see your pretty eyes and your smile that seems to change everything. Why do I feel so lost? I need you Muffin. I don’t care about anything. Today feels like a bad day. How will I survive today? You are right, I need a holiday but is it crazy I want it with you. I want everything with you. Why do I feel so lost? How can I survive this, you are my strength, my weakness and my everything. You are my air and I feel like right now I am not breathing. Why do I feel so lost?

I love you M. I need you M. I want you M.

That’s all I want. Is it too much to ask? Why do I feel so lost?  I feel empty like only you can fill this void. Why do I feel so lost?

Why I love you

I found love in you

And learnt to love me too

Never have I felt that I could be all that you see

It's like our hearts have intertwined and to the perfect harmony.

I found love in you

And no other love will do

Every moment that you smile chases all of the pain away

Forever and a while in my heart is where you'll stay

This is why I love you

Oh this is why I love you
Because you love me

You love me

The stars have all aligned

And right now is the perfect time to say
I love you, I love you, I love you
I love you, I love you

I found love in you
And no other love will do
That's why I love you.

-Major-

I miss you

I'm not going to see you today; we're not going to go to church together after work.

I'm not going to be sitting there hoping you haven't noticed what time it is yet.

I can't believe it's been only three days- it feels like three months have passed.

Friday can't come too soon.

I miss everything about you. 

Your eyes, which stare at me like I'm the best thing since sliced bread.

your lips, which kiss me so tenderly.

your smile, which brightens up my day.

 your hands, which are always intertwined in mine.

your arms, which hold me so tight. 

Your breath upon my neck. 

Your satellite ears which hear my every whisper.

Your cheeks which mirror your feelings. 

Your nose pressed up against mine.

Your fingers, oh your fingers!

The warmth of your body against mine.

I miss you so much, it hurts.

I don't know if I'm going to make it.

I don't think I can take 5 more weeks of this.

I'm living, but I'm not alive. 

I need you M.m 

What Can I Do?

It's 6:24am and I am outside her house. The usual suspects are out; the famous Alinko is about to enter his car to drive off with his usual black t-shirt and cap, the chubby guys have done one stroll down the street and are going for another one. I stay in my car looking surprised at why they are breaking their protocol. The radio can sense what I am thinking and starts playing “Stay by Rihanna” In that moment, I am waiting and hoping she can come out from her house and enter my car. I want to see her pretty face again, hear her voice, watch her lips move, see those shinning eyes, hear her giggle not to talk about her laughter.

Its day 3, since she left and I feel like I am suffocating. My thoughts wander sometimes to what she is doing, can I see her now? Can I hold her hands and hug her? Can I kiss her? I miss her more every day. I wake up in the middle of the night checking my phone for messages from her. The smile on my face when her name and picture pops up on my phone is so funny. How have I been surviving without her? That’s what someone asked me. That question got me puzzled for a while. How did I survive without her? How can someone finally see you and change your life by just being in it? These questions cross my mind every time. I like how we can talk about random stuff and not get bored. She has changed my life; I don’t want this to ever be over.

I love you more everyday M, and I will not stop saying it because I’ve a new experience every day. That’s the effect you have on me. Distance sucks, but I feel that by talking with you every day I’m closer to you. I know that even though we are apart by distance, we are not far by heart. I know that no matter how painful distance is, not having you in my life would have been worse.

So thank you for being in my life. You have changed it in an extraordinary way and I love you M. Sometimes I want to fast forward time to when I get to be with you and freeze time when we are together forever. I will see you soon baby. I LOVE YOU.

                                                                                                                                                                

Always and Forever

M.M

Milk Factory.....Bring Back My Air #BBMA

It’s funny that she thinks that I show up at an ungodly hour to pray for her. The thing is this, I get excited to wake up that early to pray for her. It’s a reminder to me of how I want our home to be. We pray together and love God together. I like how we are already speaking into our future referring to “our home” or “dear future wife”

She said to me she wants to be better for me. Guys do you remember when I told you she was extraordinary; she is already the best thing that happened to me. She was everything even before she saw me.
The milk factory decided to ship her off again. I am upset but hey, she is an hour away- better than them shipping her to the north or the plateau.

I am trying not to think about it, but it’s so hard. Have you ever imagined holding your breath for 10 minutes? that’s how I feel when I try not to think about her. She is my everything, my air.
I miss you so much. I can’t wait for her to get back and I know that even if she is only here for a few days, I will cherish it.

I love you so much baby. I can’t wait to have you back, get to see you, hold you, hug you till you are out of breath, kiss you (damn you're the sweetest). You are the missing piece in my jigsaw puzzle and I pray every day that we have a lifetime to spend with each other where we can raise baby muffins. I will always love you M. 

                                                                                                                                                                Forever and a Day

                                                                                                                                                                                M.M

DISTANCE

I'm on the road again, I've only just left, but I'm already counting down the days till I see you again.

It really sucks that I'm going to be away from you so much. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", they say. Let's hope it's true.

I love you so much. I love how you come to my house at ungodly hours to pray with me before I leave- it means the world to me. I love how you call me randomly and persistently to make sure I'm okay. I love that you're just as upset as I am about me going away.

Nothing is the same without you. I can't sleep. Food tastes bland. Is clear that something essential is missing from my life.

I can't wait to see you again and look into your eyes, kiss your lips, hold you close.

But until then, I guess we'll just have to make it work somehow. 

You're always on my mind.

Forever and always