I don’t know what’s wrong with
me. In less than 6 hours I have managed to get her irritated, upset and
disappointed. I know you are wondering why I am here writing this instead of what I normally write to her, but I feel like I am bad with words and writing is
how I express myself.
The thing is I don’t know what is
wrong with me. I am supposed to be her shield and support system. I am supposed
to be her happy place, but I feel like in the last few hours I have been a douche
and I've irritated her. In the last few hours, I have said the wrong thing and done the
wrong thing. God! what’s going on. It’s annoying me because I never want to do
that to her. I want to understand her by simply looking at her, I want to
understand her sigh and her breath. I’m trying to learn that but I feel like
she is different. Remember when I told you she is extraordinary; I feel like I need
to get to that realm. I’m lost sometimes because I want understand her, I want
her to talk to me even if she is irritated, I want her to vent and scream at me
like I am her friend that just messed up. God! I want to read her mind; wouldn’t
that be so nice?
Despite all this, I still love
her. I love her more every day. Even when she was upset, irritated I still
wanted to kiss her. How can someone be upset with you and you can hear them but
at the same time you want to keep her quiet by kissing her. I know in the last few hours I have not acted like the man that I should be, but M, I am deeply sorry. I
feel like sorry doesn’t cut it but I truly am. I am so angry with myself for
acting silly and disappointing you. M, I’m opening up to you and taking a step
I am always afraid of taking and trusting you because that’s all I have and all I ever want. I love you more every day and I want to be your friend, best friend,
boyfriend, lover, support system, father of our kids, husband, prefix. I want
to be your everything.
I know in the last few hours, I have
done silly things but all I can say is I'm sorry and I will be better. M, you are all I care about, you are all I want and need and I love
you.
Always and Forever
M.M
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