Being Thankful for Days of The Month

I had no idea today was Thanksgiving.

I guess because I’m thankful everyday for having you in my life.

I normally wake up to pray and you are constantly in my prayers.

Today was different, I had prayed for you in the middle of the night, I jumped in the shower and I prayed again for you. I was driving to work and I prayed again for you.

What am I thankful for; I am thankful for November because that was the first time I saw you.

I am thankful for December because I remember how you looked and packed your hair when you came to pick up the envelope. I also remember that subconscious thing you were doing with your hand as well.

 I’m thankful for January because You tasted my food, we spoke for the first time. January had its mistakes because I lost focus and I trusted the wrong person but…

February was better and I am thankful for the outbreak because before then you saw me, and we had our first conversation and even though we didn’t finish it, it was one of the best times.

Thankful for March because even though you lost someone close to you, I tried to get close to you. This is when I started “stalking” you with pictures I think or maybe I started before then.

As the months went by we started getting closer and so April I started opening up to you and I am thankful because I started to express how I felt to you. I am definitely thankful for May because you were born in this amazing month with 2 women that matter to me. I am thankful for letting me in on the fabric you wanted to get for the wedding. June I am thankful that my parents decided to bring me into the world. This month was special because you were worried about going across the bridge for the test.

July was hectic as hell for you because you had to take on way too many roles: planner, shopper, tailor, mechanic, agent, the list goes on. Thankful to God for you because I saw how strong you are from planning, the bouquet etc. to how caring and thoughtful you are (when I landed and there was food for me), the hands-on swag you have, the creative and artistic thing you can do with fabric, flowers, I am sure you can do it with air. Grateful for this month because I was chosen. YES!!! Feels like the matrix.

Thankful for August because the milk factory knew that they will be silly not to take you. The surprise blow my mind. I’m thankful for your crazy mind, your thoughtfulness, your aura, your openness with me, your family; their relationship with the Big Guy, how they raised you up. September was when I had to show you that I was thankful and the milk factory shipped you out for a week. It was hard because for the first time I was choking because you are my air. October was harder but thankful for all the crazy things you did like magically showing up at the airport.

2016 didn’t go according to plan but to be honest I am still thankful. I am thankful because one aspect of my life was sorted. I am thankful for your smile, your mind, your laughter, your beautiful skin, your lips that I can kiss all day. I am thankful for your eyes because I am lost in them all the time.

I don’t know what I did to deserve you but I am thankful that the Big Guy orchestrated everything to this point and He put you in my life. I will forever be thankful for you being in my life and I pray everyday we stay together forever. 

Always and Forever

                                                                                       M.M.

Thankful

It's Thanksgiving, and I know I have a lot to be thankful for.

M.m you're at the very top of the list  and you're also entries 2-10.

Every time I think about you, I'm filled with gratitude.

I'm so grateful to God for bringing you into my life. I honestly don't know where I'd be without you, my life would be so empty.

I'm thankful for your eyes and the way they sparkle 

I'm thankful for your values 

I'm thankful that you were raised to be such a gentleman 

I'm thankful for your tenacity and strength

I'm thankful for your incredible talents 

I'm thankful for your dazzling smile 

I'm thankful for your warm embrace 

I'm thankful for your refreshing honesty

I'm thankful for your kind heartedness
I'm thankful for your crazy alter ego
I'm thankful for your asshole moments

I'm thankful for your willingness to go to war

I'm thankful for your undying love

I'm thankful for your unwavering friendship 

I'm thankful for the man you are

I'm thankful for the man you will become

I'm thankful that you found me.

I'm thankful for you

And I'm thankful to you 

Today, and each and every day 

Happy thanksgiving baby

Forever and always,

m.

Ad.dic.tion

I am sitting here thinking about you, wishing I am with you now.

I want to see you smile or do the dance

I want to hear you laugh and that look on your beautiful face

You are my addiction

And I know been addicted is a scary thing

The thought, the need to satisfy the urge is crazy and a lot of people consider a bad thing.

Here is the thing M, I’m addicted to you

Not the kind that rehab / withdrawal can solve.

This type of addiction is a new one, it’s the type that you need more of.

You don’t need to take it in all the time, just being around satisfies you.

This kind of addiction is beautiful because this is the type I have.

I can’t get tired of it either can I have enough of it.

I will shout and scream to the rooftop, I will tell anyone who cares to know that I’m addicted to you

I have never understood what love means until you came into my life.

You light up my life, my world. You are my everything

I will tell every day that you are the most beautiful woman I’ve seen.

You make my life better and I know I get scared sometimes about losing you and here is why;

I feel like my life will be meaningless without you.

You are my everything and I love you endlessly.

I hear addictions are a bad thing, but you are one addiction I don’t want to get over and I want more of.

Always and Forever

                                                                                                     M.M.

I found you

I have found your smile 

That's the sweetest one I've known

I have heard within your voice

The echoes of my own,

I have felt your touch

Which stirs the longing of my heart 

And I can still feel the closeness

In the moments when we're apart 

I am filled with awe and wonder

At the way two lives can blend

To weave a perfect patten 

That is seamless, end to end

I believe some things in life are meant to be

For I have found my soulmate m.m,

My heart's own destiny. 

Always and forever,

m.

A

Dark Hole

I feel so confused and I can’t say I don’t know. There are a couple of things on my mind but the one that worries me the most is M.

There has been this vibe or feeling I can’t seem to shake off. The feeling that something is wrong, the feeling of being lost and scared. For the first time, I am second guessing myself. What have I done to make her feel like we are drifting apart. I know she tells me everything is fine but why do I feel more confused and scared. I want to help her out deal with what it is but I can’t seem to get through. There seems to be this wall around her not just blocking me but fighting back at me.

For the first time in my life I am scared and not at peace. This weekend has not been the best I must confess. Maybe is because we are both not feeling good and there were a lot of activities to be done and we sort of were apart this weekend but still we have been apart further in distance but this is different. I feel like I am on the outside and looking, I feel like I’m close to her but still I feel so far away.

I feel like it’s partly my fault but I can’t see what I’ve done and its killing me. Can this feeling pass please, I can’t handle this. It’s too much for me, it’s messing with my mind. I think about it and I am sad and I try to find something to do to distract myself but it’s not working. M, if you are reading this I am here for you. I will keep scratching on the walls, even if my nails bleed. I will dig to the foundations with my hands till I get to you. I love you with everything in me and I am sorry I can’t figure out what is wrong and what dark hole you are in because I will bring down the sun if I can to brighten that hole and drag you out.

I am here for you and I love so much.

Always and Forever

                                                                                                                                     M.M.

The key

For every echo of hurt I've felt,
For every ounce of neglect given to me at the expense of showing love to the wrong people,

Just know, for you and our future family,

I will love that much harder.

For every time you weren't acknowledged for the beautiful soul you are,

For every time you were forced to second guess your worth,

Just know, I will make up for what you didn't receive and love you to the point that you see why others didn't return and weren't fit to rescue your heart;

And that's because my return and refund of passion was all you needed to want, and all you will ever want to need.

For everything others were not,

I want to be.

Not just because, or to dive into your heart only to disappoint you like others have done too many times before.

But because I know you and our future family deserve to be valued and loved for eternity.

And fortunately, unlike others, I have the secret key to making you happy

Which is ... giving you all of me.

Focus and Scales

So, I have learnt this new trick, it’s called Focus.

I could do it but with this new trick it allows me to stay in the zone and also be happy.

I’m not having a good day but to be honest I’m not letting it get to me. I am just staying focused. The beauty about this is I am locked on just one thing; the thought of M, seeing her face, watching her smile, holding her hand and kissing her.

She is engraved in my every thought. I was a conversation with someone yesterday and the person said relationships have a way of making us either complete or broken. I said I totally get that because I’ve been at both ends of the scale. The first end which is broken starts off like you are whole and complete but gradually you realise just like a mug broken but just gummed together starts to sip out the contents in it and after a while it breaks. It leaves you sad, depressed and confused. You feel like you are not good enough and you don’t deserve anything life has to offer but the other end which is complete; you feel fulfilled, happy and like an immortal. There is a certain superhero swag you have in you, the way you walk, the way you think, the feeling envelopes you so much that people wonder sometimes what’s he on?

I used to be at the first end, I was broken, lost and felt like there was no hope. I saw you and I wished but the thing I have noticed is the universe has its own plan and when it is time, it works in your favour. I was finally noticed in spite of all the distractions, challenges, dudes, ladies in our path, we found each other, she finally saw me.  I’m at the complete end and I wonder sometimes how I survived at the opposite end. How was my life without you? Let me tell you this M, you complete me and because of that I will tell the whole world how love is really the most powerful emotion in the world because I’ve experienced it first-hand.

 You came into my life and gave it meaning. You lighten my world, you are an amazing beautiful, smart and perfect lady. I think that’s why God bought you into my life, to fix the cracks and show me that there is still a rare piece of gem that you’ve not seen. I created her on the 7^th day while I was resting, He really saved the best for last and I am thankful every day. It gets scary somethings because I look or think about you and you and more than I asked Him for. I get scared because you are too good to be true, I feel sometimes that you are too good for me, like what have I done to deserve the most beautiful woman I have seen. I get scared because I don’t ever want to live a day without, I want you in my life forever and some days. I want to grow old with you, come home to see your smile and our two mini muffins.

M, I promise you I will love you with everything in me, I will care for you, I will always hold your hand and let you know I am beside you through life, I will always kiss your forehead to let you know that you are never alone and we will always be a team. 

Always and Forever

                                                                                                                                    M.M.

The Perfect Weekend

Take a second and picture it; the perfect weekend

What is your perfect weekend?

Me, it’s simple. I just had it this weekend.

My perfect weekend is every second, minute, hour we spend together.

So, let me tell you about my perfect weekend:

I spent maybe 2 and half hours getting to the city, sorry town, I mean village, pardon me settlement.

All that didn’t matter to me to be honest. All I kept thinking about was ‘Home.” You are home.

Once I saw you, my heart literally skipped but I had to keep my cool. I felt like I should scream and jump on you. It’s being 4 days since I have seen you and it felt like ages. Seeing you made all the sitting for those hours’ worth it. All I wanted was be with you.

The best part of the weekend was waking up in the middle of the night and you were beside me. I could roll over and whisper in your ears, cuddle you and kiss you.

I will not change anything about my perfect weekend. We have always spoken about movie night, I felt like we had a movie day which was beautiful. To be honest, all I cared about was spending time with you.

M, I loved every moment we spent together and I kept tell you that I will love to get used to this. Getting used to spend time with you even if we are doing absolutely nothing as long as we are together. What did that article say - Home is where hairnet and shower cap should be allowed. I loved you in your hairnet, loved watching you walk around in your night shorts and your shower cap damn girl!

I liked how you will run the shower and walk around talking with me, I loved watching you get dressed and the dance you do when you are happy. The sucking you do with your tongue makes you so peaceful. I know I am not the easiest person to be with but for some reason you have chosen to be with me. I love you for the things that you don’t know you have done. You are my Helen of Troy; I will start and go to war for you.

I love you for choosing me. I hate goodbyes and that’s why I didn’t like the fact that I had asked for a second to be a minute and that didn’t happen. All I wanted was a reset for the start of the weekend because in the end, my perfect weekend is every moment with you.

Love, You M. 

Always and Forever

                                                                                                                                     M.M.

Surprised!!!

                     

You literally swept me off my feet yesterday. I thought I had 5 days and 4 nights to see you but in the midst of all the madness, you show up; Like you were exactly there.  My heart was racing, I was blushing, confused, happy, surprised, overwhelmed all at the same time. I used to think I was crazy. The scary part is I think I was wrong because I am getting my crazy from you. Babe, I think you are crazy and I mean that in the amazingly crazy way that you are.  Every day I look at you, I smile because you are my happiness. You give me so much joy and that’s why I’m not scared to let you know how I feel or show you my vulnerability.

Thank you for coming into my life. Yesterday was one of the reasons why I love you because of the things you do that you don’t realise you are doing. I loved how plans changed with you. Thank you for being my happiness, my joy and my excitement. Throughout yesterday with every moment we spent together I saw the reason why I had to fight, saw God’s plan to make me happy, I saw my future and mini muffins running around.

I love you M. Thank you for bringing colour into my life.

Always and Forever

                                                                                                                   M.M.